Friday, December 23, 2005

b3ta Review Of The Year 2005

This last post for a while gives you more links than a long chainy thing. Many are NSFW or in questionable taste but hey, so am I.

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OK, I'm not likely to post in the next couple of days but we'll see. Hope you all have a great time and I'll see you soon.

Oh, and if anybody can tell me why this blog looks fine in Firefox but the font sizes (especially in the sidebar) in IE are so effin big, please give me a clue.

Right, I'm off to have a glass or two and hopefully get my tongue round a few carols, as it were.

Operation Kringle Kill




















"These are the journals of a soldier in the 101st Polar division, actively in engaged in the War on Christmas."

"I was getting ready to get in line to send a shout out to my baby's Momma when all of a sudden these fucking reindeers go flying by in rapid succession dropping their payload on us. G.I.F.T.S aka General Intense Force Thermodynamic chargeS these are common drop bomb used by santas squads."

Like it!!

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Breast Fed Cat











No kidding - watch the (short) vid

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Great Oxfam Christmas Gifts














Camels, goats, donkeys, toilets and many other things. Benefit others much worse off than you while still showing the giving spirit to friends. Oxfam have a winner with this. Anyone want a lavvy? Only 30 smackers! We got a donkey from one of the staff today and it was the best present anybody could have been given.

Dear Prudence

Nice Flash presentation of Lennon doing Dear Prudence.

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Volkswagens




















Fantastic site - all sorts of literature about VWs then and now. Mind you, is the man in the ad above outside cos he's done a Gute Fahrt?

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Worlds Largest Ball of Paint














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Google - Free Proxy!

"We often use office/school/university connections, usually those services are set to provide more safety, blocking the access to undesidered web sites (the "black list"). What you can do now is use Google translator service (language tools) as a proxy to bypass the restrictions set for our connection! "

I used to use other translation sites to bypass our work censors but that was blocked somehow. This may work for a while but be aware that anyone looking at server logs will still be able to see the URL of the site you're visiting. Downloading Lesbian Lavatory Lust while at work is not a good idea!!!

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Make Your Own Flying Spaghetti Monster Simulacrum




















Superb

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Birds
















Nice

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Real Roman Recipes

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Sorry, I really need to get back to work - more later.

Change Me

by images

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Donald Duck's Family Tree

I want to scream "get a life" but still find it oddly interesting

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YoYo History

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Cupcake Shots















FFS

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Buck - the Singing, Talking Animated Trophy



















FFS

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Christmas Zoom

Tamponart




















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True Stories














The stories and photos of a German photographer living in Japan. Fascinating - some are NSFW.

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A Royal Lavvy

Banksy's Bethlehem

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Check out his site here for more.

The Australian Yowie

Australia's Bigfoot - never heard of it before.

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Merry Christmas From CCRKBA















That's the Citizens Committee for the Right to Keep and Bear Arms. (Click pic for bigness)


Their press release states:

"The card presents Santa guarding a group of small children from a bomb-harnessed suicide killer. The bomber appears ready to cast a stick of dynamite at an image of the Infant Jesus beneath a decorated Christmas tree."

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Virgin Trains Adverts

Heh heh.

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It's a BK Holiday!

This is awful!!

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OK, back to work again for me - more later.

Vintage Russian Santa Postcard Gallery




















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Pixelated Plates




















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Faith Chips

The Colorectal Surgeon’s Sing-a-Long

"A doctor he wanted to be
For golf he loved to play
But this is not quite what he meant…
By eighteen holes a day!"

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How To Wolf Whistle

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Animal Splicer

Mix the animals to make a hybrid (Flash)

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Cu Chi Tunnels














"......the Cu Chi tunnel system, built over 25 years starting in the 1940s, was an underground city with living areas, kitchens, storage, weapons factories, field hospitals, command centres. In places, it was several stories deep and housed up to 10,000 people who virtually lived underground for years.... getting married, giving birth, going to school. They only came out at night to furtively tend their crops."

Superb

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Walter the Farting Dog














A kiddies book based on reality - they'll love it!!

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Crechemania




















Paper models - better hurry if you want to make one otherwise you'll be up to your arse in scissors and glue on Christmas Eve when you should be in the pub getting warmed up for midnight service.

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Fanny Hill

e-book - ancient erotica on the web. At least the pages won't stick together!!

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The Six Thousand

"6000 intriguing people you want to meet online before you die. Who will make the list tomorrow?"

Not that many I know, other than Xeni Jardin, co-editor of a Directory of Wonderful Things Wot People Have Sent In So We Can Publicise Them And Make Lots Of Cash From Our Adverts.

Harsh? Nah!

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Bloke Finds Self On Google Earth

"This is a bit random, but think this might be a first. I've found myself on a google earth satellite photo."

Ah, yes - I'd recognise that blob anywhere

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The Coathangerchair
















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String Spin

Draw a line and create some pretty patterns

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Maritime Canada On A Human Powered Couch














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Bacon And Sausages

All you need to know.

Bacon

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Sausages

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Wacky Packages




















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Trees















Just some interesting pics of trees.

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OK, back to work for me - more later as usual.

Tyburn Tree




















"Public execution in early modern England"

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Transparent Factory













VW factory in Dresden, Germany - it's a work of art - *image heavy page*

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Flash Planetarium

Nice idea in progress.

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Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Family Court Chronicles

How Multinational Drug Companies Took Liberties with African Lives

Opium Images




















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Pathetic Personals








"Looking for some funny sayings to frighten co-workers? Need funny poems in order to conversate with your boo? Just when you thought it was safe to try Internet dating comes Pathetic Personals. Here you'll find the cream of the crap. "

I Need Advice On How To Shave A Cat

How Motorways Work





Heh heh

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Music Blockprints




















Unusual but some nice ones.

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Teach Soap

"Our beautifully illustrated soap making tutorials will guide you through each soap making project with clear. step-by-step soap making instructions."

Not much use to Dundonians or Govanites, then.

Walking Sticks

DIY - Paper Bookmarks















Nice one.

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The Curry House

Edible Estates

"These L.A. citizens should be brave enough to break this toxic uniformity, by having their entire front lawn removed and replaced by an edible landscape."

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Sorry, in a rush back to work as usual. More later

Confessions of a Turtle Wife

Bush Yoga




















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Newsagent Forced Out By Whistling

Monday, December 19, 2005

What Would Orwell Do?










Hmmm

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Get The Cats To Help With The Christmas Tree

Two Necked Decanter

DNA Bracelet


















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Marie Antoinette Action Figure




















"This 5-1/2" tall, hard vinyl figure features amazing "Ejector Head Action," and comes with a removable plastic wig and dress."

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Non-Medical Silicone Implants











FFS

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The Avenging Unicorn Play Set

"Put the posable, hard plastic unicorn on a flat surface and then impale one of three soft plastic figures included (businessman/boss, new age lady and mime)."

Very strange.

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The Incredible Matchstick Uke



















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OK, I need to return to work - more later.

British Panoramics








"A journey through the British countryside and heritage.

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Anxiety Wrap













"As well as helping to end dog and cat aggression, shyness, nervousness, releasing stress & tension, end jumping, stop destructive chewing, fear biting, car sickness, unnecessary barking, shyness, fear of loud noises, thunderstorm fear, sensitivity to touch, sensitive to sound, aloofness, emotional upset, hyperactivity, grooming issues and other anxieties."

I'm having it - the dog can learn to cope.

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Deer Ears




















"To use, simply place the Deer Ears on your head and wiggle your new ears in the direction you would like to hear."

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Adding And Subtracting



















"Ryan and Dave are the most unique identical twins you'll ever meet. After tiring of piercing, tattoos, and implants about three years ago, they began exploring much heavier surgical modifications."

FFS

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Skin Your Coffin















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It’s A Fiddle!

"MUSIC shop boss Steve Kowalski has been told he will have to pay to play if his customers want to try out his instruments before they buy."

So say the Performing Rights Society - they are mad.

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Sunday, December 18, 2005

Sword Swallowing

Pixel Radio Controlled Helicopter

The Japanese Game To End All Japanese Games

"....a 3D fighting game that features little girls beating up on each other; nothing new there. The kicker, however, is that any damage you do to your opponent will slowly regenerate unless… wait for it… you take a picture of her panties. Yes. A fighting game where panty-shots are the core mechanic. You don’t believe me, do you? Then watch the VIDEO. "

Link to main page

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The Ultimate Man Cave Couch

"Two flat panel screen televisions
DVD player
Mini refrigerator
Xbox with three controllers
Electric Red MP3 player
XM Radio with one year of free service
NEXTEL cellular phone and a NASCAR headset
Two Domino's Pizza Heat Wave hot bags to keep your pizzas warm
Coca-Cola beverage cooler
Remote control caddy
Bottle opener"


It's a good job they remembered the bottle opener

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It's Not Me, It's The Drugs Talking

B3ta question of the week.

"Oh, and I played a He-man cartoon on telly with a playstation controller for 20 minutes before passing it to my mate saying, 'This games too hard, I can't get the hang of it'.

And no, I'm not telling you mine! OK, you persudaed me. But only one.

Many years ago, in a flat far away, myself and two friends were partaking of a spliff or three just to pass an afternoon away. Very stoned, we ran out of matches. Me, being the idiot I am, volunteer to go to the shop for some. I wander down the road and realise how very stoned I really am. No matter, on with the quest.

I eventually reach a small paper shop and enter. My turn at the counter arrives and I ask for a box of matches. The assistant says "Sorry, we've only got Swans left."

My reply? "It's OK, I'll get some from the shop down the road."

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Lego Escher

Smencils

















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Gallery of Owner-Built Toilets













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It's A Wonderful Internet

I know, everyone's listing this - but it's good!!

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High Owl Hides Out In Christmas Tree

Heh heh - they called him "Cheech"

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The TRUTH About Black Helicopters















"the lifecycle of a black helicopter"

"Black Helicopters (BH) are not just helicopters with a black paint-job as you may have been told. They are, in fact, autonomous agents -- lifeforms -- created by New World Order (NWO) agencies via nanobiotechnology. "

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Ledertussi!
















Or men who dress as women, then wear a mask. How fecked up is that? Ah well, each to his or her own. Nothing brazenly unsafe for work as far as I could bear to explore.

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Some Cunning Insults - Blackadder Stylee

"Blackadder: You're the worst entertainer since St. Paul the Evangelist toured Palestine with his trampoline act."

Heh heh

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Renaissance and Baroque Anatomical Illustration




















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Magical Fall

This is a marvellous QT stream (streams well) - relaxing

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Newspaper Ads From The Golden Age of Advertising




















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